It’s motherfuckin’ Shark Week. The Red Tide. The Crimson Wave.
And I’m miserable.
Aside from my nifty pack of pills telling me I’m on day 2 of placebos… My emotions are out of whack. Like “polar opposite” out of whack. Why, Hello the other 2 Faces of Sam!
Hold up, I know what you’re thinking. “I’m female, that’s only natural.” Yes, that’s true, but not to the extent of wanting to jump D’s bones, while potentially scratching his eyeballs out for farting at the dinner table. A bit extreme, you say? Perhaps. I think shedding some uterus lining and dealing with constantly fluctuating hormones for a week gives me that right to be a bit extreme. At least in my distorted brain.
Let’s hope we all survive this weekend because right now I have this overwhelming sense of dread and foreboding. Not for my well-being, but for those poor unfortunate souls around me.
Here’s your warning, lovelies! The filter is gone for the next 5 days and everyone/thing is FAIR GAME!
This public service announcement has been brought to you by: Stay Free Maxi Pads. For when your uterine lining looks like the elevator from “The Shining.”
Happy Friday y’all!
Leave a Reply