(E)x marks the spot.

Dear Shady Bitch,

I thought I would finally take the time to introduce myself.  I’m the one currently dating your ex-boyfriend, D. You know, the one you still occasionally send inappropriate, half naked photos and suggestive text messages to.

I wanted to let you know that I see everything you send him.  And I mean everything.  I find it a bit strange that I know more about your body than anything about you personally, however, how much more personal does it get than that?  I came by this information, not by snooping, but by communicating.  We’re in a relationship.  We talk.  We trust one another. That is also how I know that your continued efforts make him really uncomfortable.  Like, REALLY uncomfortable (think wearing a wool sweater in the Sahara kind of uncomfortable and then multiply that by 10).  He may or may not have conveyed that information to you, but that’s okay.  He’s told me. Numerous times. You see, I know that you already know that he’s one hell of a guy.  He may be a little rough around the edges, but he has a big heart and would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings.  He’s one-in-a-million and would give you the shirt off of his back if it was needed.

What you might not know about him is he values what he currently has.  He’s happy.  In fact you might as well say he’s on damn cloud 9 most days. He wouldn’t do a damn thing to ruin our family and our new beginnings that we’ve fought so hard for.

With that being said, I’m not the type to make him choose friendship or family.  I would never insist or make him end his friendship with you.  That’s not who I am and that is not how WE, as a couple and as a family, operate.  I’ve truly enjoyed meeting those that he has deemed worthy to remain in his life and I look forward to meeting even more.  However, if he were faced with that decision, just know that you would not be on the winning side after it is all said and done, my dear. We have worked too hard and have overcome too many obstacles to get where we are at today. A married, ex-girlfriend with a hard-on for him won’t undo that.

This may come across as a “Challenge” and antagonize you to continue with force.  However, I’m going to remain hopeful that you’ll make the wise, adult decision to back off.  If you’re truly that unhappy with your own life and feel the the need to seek attention while attempting to derail someone’s happily ever after, perhaps you need to make some personal adjustments.

I appreciate everything you have done for D and his daughter.  I appreciate you being there for him when no one else was.  I appreciate you being his shoulder to lean on and voice of reason while we were at our beginning stages of figuring each other out.  I will always be thankful that he had you during those rough times.  This is where I step in and you bow out, with grace, preferably.

I hope that you can respect where this letter is coming from, woman to woman.  If not, well… just know that I’m not going anywhere.


The redhead you don’t want to fuck with



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