Step-parenting a Narcissists Kid

I know everyone thinks their ex is a narcissist or at least has narcissistic tendencies, but I would bet money on D’s ex being a narc and possibly even bipolar. Coming from a family of bipolar-schizos, I can spot em a mile away. That and being empathic usually helps sort out the shit humans pretty quickly.

With that being said, D’s ex’s narcissist side is really coming out, 5 days before they come to visit me in Arizona. First she’s pissed that he’ll be the first one to take her on an airplane and demanding every minute detail about our trip – hotels, phone numbers, plane and flight info, etc etc. Sure as a courtesy this was going to be provided to her, but now she wants to demand it? Okay, you’ll get the bare minimum. She then questioned the insulin to carb ratios we’ve been doing with Rae because her sugars have been high this week. D replied that we’ve been doing the same ratios we changed to back in February, but apparently she’s ignored every note and text telling her about those changes and instead insists we’re dosing her wrong. I find it funny she wants to argue something that is verifiable. We only have kiddo 11-12 overnights a month and her average glucose is better with us than with her mother. Pretty sure that says a lot. On top of all of this, she informed D last night that she will not have the proper supplies to send with him for their vacation because “the order dates are off” or some excuse like that and she “doesn’t understand why” because they haven’t had any malfunctions. Okay – this shows either you’re careless with her supplies.. you don’t give a fuck… or you’re selling the shit. Which is it? Not only will she not have a replacement sensor, but won’t have the $300 replacement transmitter that clicks into the sensor either. Hey, that’s okay, I’ll just use my hard earned money I keep in an HSA to pay for my non-biological daughter’s medical supplies. You know why? Because it’s easier on her. Forget about it being more inconvenient for us to do the finger pricks, it’s more painful for the kid if you make her do it. Especially after not having to for so long. Why make an already difficult thing even more hard? Dick Move. D was nice to ask her if she would mind getting the appropriate documentation from the pharmacist so we can have on hand with her needles, insulin, and other supplies since she controls all of the medication. She said sure, but D had an inkling she’d mess it up so he went and got it himself. Thank goodness he did, she didn’t have the right stuff. On purpose? I think so, but would be hard to prove that.

I’m currently working on drafting a quick letter to our attorney for D to update her on my vacation dates and how difficult the ex is trying to make this. Last vacation, 7 years ago when they were finishing up their original court shit, she filed a bunch of paperwork on him because he was over 1500 miles away and his last attorney sucked. This time, we’re going to be a little more prepared.

Ultimately, she’s upset that she wasn’t asked or consulted about our vacation first. She claims she wasn’t told about insulin ratio changes and overall doesn’t like the fact that we can make decisions without her input. Game on, woman.


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