Does life ever slow down? Asking for a friend…
Nearly 20 days after my last post, we have some updates.
- We drove nearly 30 hours back to Iowa so we could be closer to friends and family
- My mother is currently living with my brother, his girlfriend, and her 3 kids
- My brother still hasn’t said one word to me about any of it and I’m okay with that
- I’m back in the office officially as of yesterday
- and lastly… D was predictably laid off of work without pay due to some shady business practices with the company he works for – hello FMLA fraud!
Yeah, that last one is a doozy and just happened yesterday morning. Long story short, D injured himself on the job back in June. In August, the wound reopened and now his work is claiming he’s trying to commit insurance fraud for his “non-work related” injury and he’s laid off until the investigation is done. It’s safe to say there are Union BAs and lawyers involved. Could be a bumpy ride, but I feel as if this may work in our favor eventually.
It’s the until then part I’m worried about. It’ll be a few more weeks before I regularly have paychecks coming in, D only has one or 2 more coming in, and that’s it. I know if I asked for help, there are a few that would be more than willing to, but I have a pride issue, lol. I’ve been scoping the job market because now is the perfect time to pick up something part time, I just don’t know if I want to get back into bartending or serving tables. We’ll see. I also applied for a part time transcription writer that I can do from home so fingers crossed!
I know these things tend to have a way of working themselves out and on their own timeline. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I drew the Tower tarot card yesterday and little did I know that it would be about D and not me. Perhaps it’s “us” as a collective family unit. I don’t know how these things work, but find it flipping creepy if they do.
Just when you think you’re safe and comfortable, a Tower moment hits and throws you for a loop. A lightning bolt of clarity and insight cuts through the lies and illusions you have been telling yourself, and now the truth comes to light. Your world may come crashing down before you, in ways you could never have imagined as you realize that you have been building your life on unstable foundations – false assumptions, mistruths, illusions, blatant lies, and so on. Everything you thought to be true has turned on its head. You are now questioning what is real and what is not; what you can rely upon and what you cannot trust. This can be very confusing and disorienting, especially when your core belief systems are challenged. But over time, you will come to see that your original beliefs were built on a false understanding, and your new belief systems are more representative of reality.
The best way forward is to let this structure self-destruct so you can re-build and re-focus. And let’s be real – with a card like the Tower, you have no choice but to surrender to the destruction and chaos, no matter how unwanted or painful. Change on this deep level is hard, but you need to trust that life is happening FOR you, not TO you and this is all for a reason. This destruction will allow new growth to emerge and your soul can evolve.
After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed. These moments are necessary for your spiritual growth and enlightenment, and truth and honesty will bring about a positive change, even if you experience pain and anxiety throughout the process.
Thankfully, the Tower doesn’t always associate with pain and turmoil. If you are highly aware and in tune with your inner guidance system, then this Tarot card can indicate a spiritual awakening or revelation. You may be able to see the cracks forming and take action before the whole structure comes tumbling down. You may create a massive transformation before you reach the point where change is your only option. In its most positive form, the Tower card is your opportunity to break free from the old ways of thinking that have been holding you back. – Thanks Biddy Tarot!
All I know is that D doesn’t deal with stress well. His BP and HR go through the roof which isn’t good on it’s own, but this work injury is a severed vein held together with stitches currently holding it together – if that comes loose, he’ll be spraying blood and making our bathroom look like the Carrie prom scene. Done that once, no thank you again.
I think tonight might be a good idea to do some home cleansing and petition St. Expedite for some quick assistance as the month is starting to close out. Told D to pick out his street corner, he starts his new job tonight… lol.
Until next time…
XOXOX
Limited Sanity 
Leave a Reply