Category: anxiety
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Selective Understanding
Today was my mom’s final antibody treatment since catching COVID and I’m hoping and praying that it helps and she’s able to overcome it because if this is the thing that kills her, my brother will just use it as an excuse to blame me for one more thing contributing to her death. I mean,…
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Narcissistic Abuse Receipts for Days
I’ve debated on whether or not I wanted to share some of the recorded audio from arguments with my ex. Originally I started recording things back in November 2021 when things started to not add up or stories not make sense. I have decided to share some snippets highlighting his gas lighting, grandiosity, word-scramble, and…
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The End is really the Beginning
We’re finally into the second half of the year, something I’ve been looking forward to since before the start of 2022 because all signs are pointing to it’ll be amazing and make up for the last few years of crap. I’m waiting for that “amazing” part to kick in because on Saturday July 2nd, my…
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Therapy > Drugs
Happy Mental Health Awareness Month! In all actuality, I just realized the theme of the month yesterday.. the day before maybe? But in all reality it’s perfect timing as I just had my first super successful therapy session yesterday afternoon where I left with an actual, genuine smile on my face and feeling on top…
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Stuck in the Matrix
I finally spoke my truth. My mother has this innate ability to get under my skin without even saying as much as a word, but I genuinely intended our interaction yesterday to be pleasant. And it was. Until she decided to comment about her having a panic attack due to having to ask me to…
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It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
It’s Thursday, December 30th. Two days left in this shit-show year. All signs point to 2020 and 2021 being the ramp up or trial run for whatever is coming in 2022, but I’m choosing to just try and focus on the here and now. Easier said than done, amiright? It doesn’t help that two separate…
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Here Comes the Waaambulance.
TW/Suicide . . . My mother was officially released from Hospice on Monday, 11/8/21. On Tuesday, 11/9/21, she tried taking her own life by swallowing pills. To say this is all surreal is an understatement. I received a panicked call from A, my brother’s gf, about what to do – told her to call 911…
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Dependent on Codependency
The terrible, awful, no good very bad daughter strikes again. Yesterday afternoon I was asked if Mom and her dog could stay with us for a day so they could “bomb” their apartment for fleas – fleas that apparently they’ve had for quite some time. I stupidly agreed, without even consulting D, and text him…
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Mummy Dearest
Raise your hand if… your mother ever took anyone home that you were flirting with at the bar your mother ever awkwardly hit on your friend in the backseat of the car while giving him a ride home your mother ever complained about you “taking her friends” away your mother ever raced to your bedroom…
Limited Sanity 