Category: death

• Jeanette McCurdy stole my book idea. Not really. But kind of. I’m excited to buy her new book called “I’m Glad My Mom Died” because I have a sneaking suspicion that, although I’m not a childhood tv star, we’ll have things in common. It appears my mom was able to overcome COVID, even after the…

  samuraisamiam

  August 21, 2022

  abuse, caregiver, COVID-19, death, depression, Exes, Family Dysfunction, hospice, My Shit Show Life

• BYE FELICIA

  It’s been a week since I’ve written about “feeling normal” and holy shit has that been a rollercoaster of emotions. Last weekend, I spent majority of it in my old home while he and kiddo were gone. I wanted time with my cats, who are still there, and wanted to pack things my way, on…

  samuraisamiam

  July 14, 2022

  anxiety, baby mama drama, caregiver, covert narcissism, death, depression, dying, Exes, Family Dysfunction, mental health, My Shit Show Life, Narcissism, narcissists, Self Help, self love, Therapy

  anxiety, covert narcissism, depression, emotional abuse, emotional abuse survivor, mental abuse, mental abuse survivor, Narcissism, narcissists, Therapy

• Truth = Freedom?

  Hardly. I’ve been trying to live as my true, unabashed, unfiltered self for some time now and for the most part is has absolutely served me well. I’ve been able to set boundaries in my unhealthy relationship with my mother, I’ve cut out certain toxic people, and have been focusing on MY future more, versus…

  samuraisamiam

  June 15, 2022

  caregiver, death, depression, dying, Family Dysfunction, My Shit Show Life, Rant

• Stuck in the Matrix

  I finally spoke my truth. My mother has this innate ability to get under my skin without even saying as much as a word, but I genuinely intended our interaction yesterday to be pleasant. And it was. Until she decided to comment about her having a panic attack due to having to ask me to…

  samuraisamiam

  March 29, 2022

  anxiety, caregiver, death, depression, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, mental health, My Shit Show Life

  anxiety, caregiver, confessions, depression, dysfunctionalfamily

• Well Past the Expiration Date

  I wish she would just die already. That’s not the first time I’ve thought that and it certainly won’t be the last. The “she” in this case is my mother. I’m sure your first thought is “Wow, that’s awful, how could anyone wish that?” while your second thought is likely about how much of a…

  samuraisamiam

  March 24, 2022

  death, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health, My Shit Show Life

  caregiver, COPD, depression, hospice

• Here Comes the Waaambulance.

  TW/Suicide . . . My mother was officially released from Hospice on Monday, 11/8/21. On Tuesday, 11/9/21, she tried taking her own life by swallowing pills. To say this is all surreal is an understatement. I received a panicked call from A, my brother’s gf, about what to do – told her to call 911…

  samuraisamiam

  November 11, 2021

  anxiety, caregiver, death, depression, Family Dysfunction, hospice, mental health, My Shit Show Life

  anxiety, depression, dysfunctionalfamily, hospice, suicide, suicide prevention, Therapy

• My Truth

  I need to get this all down in writing before I become the villain of this story, which is very likely. Here’s what I know, there are 3 sides to every story. My truth, their truth, and the truth-truth. Here is my version of events and predictions for what may come: 3 days ago, on…

  samuraisamiam

  August 7, 2021

  Adventures, caregiver, death, depression, dying, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health, Relationships, Self Help, self love

  anxiety, caregiver, confessions, depression, dysfunctionalfamily, hospice, selfhelp

• This morning I had exactly 33 minutes entirely to myself. Complete quiet. I was able to sneak out on to the front porch, have a nice wake n bake, and enjoy the day’s first cup of coffee, it was great. Things have drastically changed lately. Especially this past week or so. I’ve realized I’ve reached…

  samuraisamiam

  August 7, 2021

  Adventures, caregiver, death, dying, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health

  caregiver, difficult moms, dysfunctionalfamily, hospice

• ‘Murica Day and All That Shiz

  Friday morning, I woke up, determined to make the day mine. Or as much mine as I could. Betsy was picking me up at 8:30am to go get Murphy to hopefully meet his new family and Parrish would be coming to town at SOME point and offered to load up the boxes from mom’s apartment…

  samuraisamiam

  July 5, 2021

  caregiver, death, dying, Family Dysfunction, hospice

  active dying, caregiver, death, end of life, hospice, hospice caregiver

• 35 Ain’t Too Bad

  Surprisingly, my birthday didn’t turn out to be the complete shit show I had anticipated. My good friend Em had a beautiful bouquet delivered, kiddo had her 1-year follow up since finding out she’s type 1 diabetic and her A1C lowered even more, and it was fairly uneventful in the hospice world.

  samuraisamiam

  June 29, 2021

  caregiver, death, depression, dying, Guilt Trips, hospice, Rant, Uncategorized

  anxiety, caregiver, caregiver burnout, depression, hospice, hospice caregiver