Tag: caregiver

• Stuck in the Matrix

  I finally spoke my truth. My mother has this innate ability to get under my skin without even saying as much as a word, but I genuinely intended our interaction yesterday to be pleasant. And it was. Until she decided to comment about her having a panic attack due to having to ask me to…

  samuraisamiam

  March 29, 2022

  anxiety, caregiver, death, depression, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, mental health, My Shit Show Life

  anxiety, caregiver, confessions, depression, dysfunctionalfamily

• Well Past the Expiration Date

  I wish she would just die already. That’s not the first time I’ve thought that and it certainly won’t be the last. The “she” in this case is my mother. I’m sure your first thought is “Wow, that’s awful, how could anyone wish that?” while your second thought is likely about how much of a…

  samuraisamiam

  March 24, 2022

  death, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health, My Shit Show Life

  caregiver, COPD, depression, hospice

• Dependent on Codependency

  The terrible, awful, no good very bad daughter strikes again. Yesterday afternoon I was asked if Mom and her dog could stay with us for a day so they could “bomb” their apartment for fleas – fleas that apparently they’ve had for quite some time. I stupidly agreed, without even consulting D, and text him…

  samuraisamiam

  September 30, 2021

  anxiety, caregiver, depression, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, mental health, Self Help, self love, Shadow Work, Therapy

  anxiety, caregiver, codependent, depression, dysfunctionalfamily, empath, mental health, selfhelp, Therapy

• My Truth

  I need to get this all down in writing before I become the villain of this story, which is very likely. Here’s what I know, there are 3 sides to every story. My truth, their truth, and the truth-truth. Here is my version of events and predictions for what may come: 3 days ago, on…

  samuraisamiam

  August 7, 2021

  Adventures, caregiver, death, depression, dying, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health, Relationships, Self Help, self love

  anxiety, caregiver, confessions, depression, dysfunctionalfamily, hospice, selfhelp

• This morning I had exactly 33 minutes entirely to myself. Complete quiet. I was able to sneak out on to the front porch, have a nice wake n bake, and enjoy the day’s first cup of coffee, it was great. Things have drastically changed lately. Especially this past week or so. I’ve realized I’ve reached…

  samuraisamiam

  August 7, 2021

  Adventures, caregiver, death, dying, Family Dysfunction, Guilt Trips, hospice, mental health

  caregiver, difficult moms, dysfunctionalfamily, hospice

• ‘Murica Day and All That Shiz

  Friday morning, I woke up, determined to make the day mine. Or as much mine as I could. Betsy was picking me up at 8:30am to go get Murphy to hopefully meet his new family and Parrish would be coming to town at SOME point and offered to load up the boxes from mom’s apartment…

  samuraisamiam

  July 5, 2021

  caregiver, death, dying, Family Dysfunction, hospice

  active dying, caregiver, death, end of life, hospice, hospice caregiver

• 35 Ain’t Too Bad

  Surprisingly, my birthday didn’t turn out to be the complete shit show I had anticipated. My good friend Em had a beautiful bouquet delivered, kiddo had her 1-year follow up since finding out she’s type 1 diabetic and her A1C lowered even more, and it was fairly uneventful in the hospice world.

  samuraisamiam

  June 29, 2021

  caregiver, death, depression, dying, Guilt Trips, hospice, Rant, Uncategorized

  anxiety, caregiver, caregiver burnout, depression, hospice, hospice caregiver

• Not Bad Luck, Just Inconvenient.

  I’ve been here a time or ten before. Not *here* here, but an attempt to put my chaotic existence in writing. I suppose I kind of have with this whole journaling thing, but if these past few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that my family dynamic is super fucked up and surprisingly not normal…

  samuraisamiam

  June 24, 2021

  caregiver, death, dying, Family Dysfunction, hospice, memoir, mental health, Writings

  aspiring author, caregiver, caregiver burnout, dysfunctional family, Family Dysfunction, Growing Up Fast, hospice, hospice funnies, memoir

• I May Be Crazy, but it Keeps Me From Going Insane.

  I’m starting to lose my shit. Call it “caregiver burnout” or whatever you want to label it, but it’s here and it’s strong. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I wouldn’t want anyone else taking care of her like this, but at the same time, I need a freaking break.

  samuraisamiam

  June 13, 2021

  caregiver, death, dying, hospice, mental health

  caregiver, caregiver burnout, hospice